When it comes to video games I’ve slayed plenty of enemies with swords, guns, fireballs and even my bare fists. What I haven’t done is crush my foes with insults… until now thanks to Oh…Sir! The Insult Simulator, the hilarious “insult-’em up” game from developer Vile Monarch! Face off against the CPU, a real life friend or some random stranger online to see who can come up with the funniest, insultiest insults to win arguments over a dead parrot, a seat on a train and even who can have a human liver!
Title: Oh…Sir! The Insult Simulator
Developer: Vile Monarch
Publisher: Gambitious Digital Entertainment
Game Version: Final
Review Copy: Provided by Developer
Interface: DualShock 4 PS4 controller
Available on Steam, PS4, Xbox One (coming soon), iOS, Android,
A Hilarious Insult-‘em up in which players must verbally take-out their friends and family in different game modes. Assemble witty insults using different word strings, and employ combos, criticals, continuations and more to battle your opponents both offline and online across multiple devices
I love word games. One of my most recent game reviews was actually for a word game: 10tons’s SpellSpire. Like SpellSpire the object of Oh…Sir! The Insult Simulator is to defeat your opponents with your words, but the similarities end there. Here, instead of combining letters, you combine words and phrases to craft witty, finely-worded (or just completely absurd and wacky) insults! These can range from the utterly hilarious – “Your mother smells of elderberries and likes photography, nudge nudge!” – to the absolutely absurd – “your face and your hat don’t like this dog and still use Windows Vista”. Believe it or not, this incredibly simple and wild insult extravaganza has a scoring system that somehow tells how funny an insult is, and if it’s too crazy of an insult it does much less damage. Each opponent even has their own weaknesses (Sir Knight isn’t too keen on technology, for example, and J Shufflebottom HATES when you mock his or anyone else’s style.
The format is incredibly simple but rather interesting – you and your opponent (AI, someone else offline, a friend online or a random stranger) take turns choosing from a pool of words to create an insult that’ll obliterate your opponent. Each player also has their own pool of two words/phrases, and can refresh them once per round by drinking their tea (how civilized!). The game has a very interesting push-your-luck mechanic: the word “and” easily extends an insult, but if your opponent beats you to something you need and you can’t finish your sentence you run the risk of fumbling and doing no damage at all. Many times an ellipsis (“…”) is presented as an option; the ellipsis allows a player to continue their insult in the next round, but if someone uses it and takes enough damage in that round they become distracted and lose their partial sentence anyway! You also gain a bonus if you finish your sentence with an exclamation (“nudge nudge!” or “and you know it’s true!” for example), use an opponent’s weakness (as I mentioned before) or pull off a combo (using the same noun in more than one insult in a row). For those who are concerned with kicking some verbal booty you can really do some wicked damage if you get lucky – if you include Nigel H’s sister in an insult and then say something like “your sister is fat and ugly and bothers me, and I have proof!” (he hates insults related to size and appearance) then you can REALLY hurt him! You’ll take turns insulting one another until one of you runs out of hit points, and if you both run out at the same time you’ll go into sudden death!
Tournaments are the primary single-player experience and work excellently to learn the intricacies of the game. Each tournament has you face off in four different locations against four different opponents before facing off against the game’s boss, Father. The locations have no bearing on gameplay but each one sets up the insult debate you’re partaking in. The classic, the pet shop, has one person returning a dead bird to the shopkeeper who tries to convince them it’s just resting. If that sounded familiar at all it’s because it’s based on one of the most classic Monty Python sketches, and a great deal of the game has been dunked in Monty Python goodness!
If you’re playing to win, the greatest opponent may be just how much RNG plays into the fighting system. There were matches where I was able to combo 3 or 4 insults in a row (sometimes even comboing more than one subject!) and had all sorts of insults that focused on my opponent’s weakness. There were other matches, however, where I never had a single opportunity to combo and lots of the insults were based on my weakness instead. Some rounds have lots of the word “and” so you can make insults 15-20 words long and others have only one that your opponent grabs first so you’re stuck with something incredibly short like “you bother me”. Despite this, out of the 8 online games I played I won all 8!
Here’s the thing though – if you’re playing Oh…Sir! The Insult Simulator solely to win then you’re doing it wrong. The game is best when playing against a friend or loved one and laughing your rear off about the wacky insults. Sure, “your father plays hidden object games” may be a short sentence that doesn’t do a lot of damage, but maybe it’s true and that makes it even funnier! Maybe you have a kid who thinks it’s hysterical to play something like “elderberries smell of this dog and your cousin’s car hates you”. That’s such an absurd sentence it’ll barely do any damage at all, but who cares? It’s silly! A bunch of the achievements require specific silly phrases as well, like “Your country is not a part of Europe” or “You still use Windows Vista and never watched Star Wars”.
The absolutely best thing about Oh…Sir! The Insult Simulator is definitely the voicing. Each character has a unique voice and hearing them actually SAY what you came up with is awesome. Yeah it’s a little stilted but it’s hilarious, and all of the voices are great. Sir Knight sounds like Sir Sean Connery, H.P. Lovecraft has a crazy (pun intended) effect with his voice and the special unlockable characters are especially great. Father (God) sounds so spot on for Morgan Freeman I had to verify whether it was him or not, and while I haven’t played Shadow Warrior or Serious Sam, Lo Wang and Serious Sam both sound epic. Each character also has a chance at some unique phrases for their exclusive options each round, and hearing Lo Wang say things like “Your beloved auntie wants some wang says the fortune cookie!” is absolutely gold!
Unfortunately the game doesn’t have a lot of longevity. I had a LOT of fun with the game for a few days and barely ever stopped laughing, even when I played against the AI. Running through the tournament repeatedly to unlock additional characters and locations does get a little tiring though, even if each run is only about 25-30 minutes if you never lose (the AI is pretty terrible so it’s quite likely). Luckily, the game has numerous options for playing against other people (including cross-play!) and for a game that’s only $2-$3 it makes for a fantastic party game or silly gift. It’s also something that’ll be fresh every time I play with someone new, and at such a low price point you can easily buy a copy for yourself and some friends and play 1v1 against them.
One of the most amazing things about Oh…Sir! The Insult Simulator is that it was born from a game jam! The game was created within 42 hours during one of Artifex Mundi’s amJam events, and the original is available on Steam and iOS for free (pictured above)! The theme was “this parrot is no more”, a quote from the Dead Parrot Monty Python sketch, and Oh…Sir! (the title of the original) placed second and received an audience award! It’s amazing how much of the game was created in such a short amount of time, and it’s cool to see how much more mileage they were able to get out of it